Even If
by Aldley
Summary: /Yuvi/ Froi begged,"I love you. Alma loved you, Yuu. And I know enough to say she didn't want you living like this." 2 years after his fiancé's death, a depressed Kanda is persuaded to see a concert by the famous singer- Lavi- whom he used to crush on. If that wasn't surreal enough, things suck when your idol turns out to be something else and handcuffs you to a table.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Yuu, you can't stay hauled up in here forever." Having been a little over two years since the accident, Froi Tiedoll's voice had finally lost its sympathy; he no longer wished to be a crutch that condoned the unhealthy lifestyle of his son's.

Silence slabbed thickly between them but, even then, it was hardly a competitor for the clutter of papers, empty boxes from Chinese takeout, and dirtied dishes scattered about in Kanda's apartment. Alma had kept it spottless when she was alive. Such results were only given now by the helping hands Froi or Allen Walker. At first, many friends helped with the cleaning when his son's fiance had passed, but none of them stuck around for very long. They never were told why, but it wasn't a secret- Kanda had turned into a different, much colder, person since Alma's death.

It'd been a big shock two and a half years ago when Foi had taken his son and Alma out for their graduation dinner, and the pair surprised him by announcing their engagement. They were so young- Kanda at eighteen and Alma a year younger. She was adopted but spent most her time at the Tiedolls' home as a safe haven from her guardians, who treated her terribly. Maybe that's aided their case when Tiedoll gave his blessing... That and, at the time, Kanda was well disciplined with martial arts and kendo practices, he had goals and dreams, a kind heart, and had been blessed with many friends and a lovely young woman who he'd intended to spend his life with. Until...

Until she'd gone alone to tell her parents of the news. Alma, as stubborn as her fiance, wanted to go alone to pack her belongings, say what she'd practiced many times with Kanda, and leave that prison of a home behind. They were to move into the apartment Froi had bought for them- the one which Kanda currently neglected.

The fates, cruel as they almost always were, decided on a different story when a drunk driver crossed three lanes on the highway and smashed Alma's small car head on. She was pronounced dead on impact. It was arguable that Kanda had shared the same sentence since that day. One could hardly call his existence _living_...

Back in the messy livingroom the darker haired shunned his father's advice and turned away. Froi's kindness turned as well. "You're not going to sit here anymore, Yuu." 

"Don't call me that!" Teeth grit. Only _she_ ever called him that.

"Allen told me he bought concert tickets at the Hard Rock Cafe tonight and you're going. End of story. You're not staying inside anymore, this isn't _living_, son!" Tiedoll's tone begged. Kanda's spews of protests held no meaning to the older man, not when he was unbias enough to see the big picture; that things needed to change.

"Don't you think I've tried going out?! I can't! Neither of you can take a _damned_ hint- I don't want to go _anywhere_. Besides, Short-Stack is only taking me because someone else bailed on him, I bet. Isn't he?!" What might have been defiant to Kanda, sounded tired and desperate to his father.

"No, he isn't." It was like the 'terrible twos' tantrums all over again, but Froi knew his son needed this push. _Desperately_. He went to sit next to his son on the couch and placed a comforting hand over the young man's. "I love you... _Alma_ loved you, Yuu. And I knew her well enough to say she didn't want you to live like this, or be alone... She'd never want that, and if things were the other way around, I know you'd say the same for her."

His heart ached, the way only a parent's could, when he noticed onyx eyes swell with tears, but they were immediately wiped away by a dirtied sleeve.

"...I know." Kanda gestured helplessly. "I'm not stupid, _I know_. Dammit! You think I like sitting around like this?!"

Sadly this 'new' aggressive behavior was as normal to Froi as being out of cleaning supplies was for his son; it completely unphased him. This was a start though, and the man would hold onto any string of hope at this dire point in his son's depression.

"Go tonight with Allen. He's got VIP passes for you two to see that singer that's- ah... I can't remember his name, but you were a fan of him in school. Remember? Red hear, eye patch..."

He was rewarded with a puzzled, yet surprised, look. "You mean Lavi?"

"Yes, that's the one." Froi smiled. At least the Kanda wasn't fighting him... for the moment. "What do you say? Just go with Allen and it'll give me time to clean up a bit around here. I even brought a few new paintings for some of the rooms." He pointed to the large plastic bags he'd rested by the door.

At first impulse Kanda would rather spend his time proving the existence of unicorns, rather than go to a concert with Allen, but... But then he thought of Alma, her bright smile, and then he felt heartbroken-

She _would_ have been sad to see him like this and, if he'd been the one who died... No, he didn't even want to _think_ of her living like this. Besides, everyone knew that the pair had been huge fans of Lavi's music. Kanda had introduced her to it their Sophomore year in high school and it'd actually been a tact to finally speak to the girl who was in his homeroom. What everyone didn't know, however, was the fact the Japanese male had held more than admiration for the redhead's music at one point. That was his old boy-crush... Those thoughts were hardly on his mind though, not when he knew how disappointed Alma would be with him.

Heaving a deafeated sigh, Kanda stood from the couch but couldn't face his father. "Fine. I'll go." With that he headed towards his room. For a moment he stopped and half looked back at his old-man, but then kept going.

To anyone else, they may have found it rude, but Froi knew it was the young man's new way of saying 'thank you'. A monsoon of emotion came over him; his heart swelled with a warmth that things might just be changing. There was no way the kendo trained male would go if he saw his father blubbering like this though, so he quickly went to work cleaning and avoided his son- who was trying to find clean clothes for tonight.

* * *

The steady hum of Allen's car engine as they traveled down the highway made Kanda extremely anxious about being in a motorvehicle. Normally he prefered to walk or bike places- having a new found paranoia and hate concerning cars. Sadly- if you'd asked the ponytailed young man- their destination was too far off to travel by such humble means.

The Japanese male rubbed at his temples, leaning onto his elbows to support himself up while his ghost haired 'friend' awkwardly tapped his fingers on the steeringwheel. It'd been at least two months since they'd last spokent and it was wearing on the driver quite visibly. He shifted again, earning an eye twitch of irritation from his passenger.

"What?" Kanda's voice was flat, irritated.

"N-nothing!" He straightened his posture and focused more than ever on the road. This was terrible... It took about twenty seconds before Allen even dared to look over at his old frienemy. "So... it's been a long time, hasn't it?"

The passenger stared incredulously at the other. Was this how the entire evening was going to pan out? For Christ's sake, he'd rather watch reruns of Project Runway, or some shit, than be out with Allen if this was the preview for tonight.

"I—uh." Allen shrugged helplessly, assuming it'd be best to be honest. "A lot of people miss you. You know that, right?"

"I guess. Yeah." He looked out the window, a move which Allen assumed was either out of boredom or to hide whatever the other was feeling. Kanda had gotten pretty good at being an asshole since _that day_, but he few friends that had stuck around could understand.

"Yeah," the white haired repeated. "Lenalee was sad she couldn't get tickets tonight for her, Marie, Daisya, and some new girl Marie met... Miranda, I think?" Kanda's silence made Allen's nerves increase his talking speed. "But they told me to say 'hi'. Pretty cool we finally get to see Lavi, huh?"

"I don't remember you ever talking so much, Short-Stack."

"...You're not making this easy, Kanda." He spoke bluntly, the only language the other man seemed to accept these days. Even then, it was like walking cautiously on landmines that were programmed to detonate regardless.

"I forgot I _had_ to with you." Kanda insulted, but then thought of Alma. Dammit- she was like his personal Jiminy Cricket now. His heart ached and, again, he was wounded. "She really did like his music, I guess. Didn't she?"

Allen smiled sadly, looking over at his friend who still had his attention elsewhere. "Yeah, she did."

* * *

About forty minutes later they found a spot in the parking garage and headed towards the Hard Rock Cafe to see Lavi in action. Judging by the crowds that swarmed towards the concert building- which they nearly threatened to separate the two men- the redhead singer had become much more popular in just the past two years than they'd remembered. Well, maybe only in Kanda's opinion. He hadn't kept up-to-date with much of anything.

The closer they got to the building, the more girls there seemed to be. Many wore matching concert shirts, or crazy facepaint, some wore their sexiest outfits, and others dragged their gay bestie in tow. Either way, the squealing and overly hyper behavior was something the darker haired male could hardly tolerate. They pushed and shoved, eager to be the first to get in and grab the best standing space on the floor in front of the stage. It was absolute insanity.

Kanda turned to look at Allen and complain, but somewhere between the hormonal fans, bright spotlights, that were blinding in the dark of the night, and screaming- he'd lost his friend.

"Shit," he hissed. This was _exactly_ why he never wanted to leave his damned apartment. This was too stressful. His throat began painfully tightening up from being around so many people. After living alone for so long it was a shock...

"Young man!" An old voice yelled- or tried to- amongst the loud fans crowding around the entrance.

Looking in the voice's direction, Kanda saw the voice's owner. He stood behind a roped off area- barely taller than the poles holding the velvet ropes!- with a crazy tall hairdo and panda-like makeup around his eyes. The guy was certainly unique. Kanda pointed at himself and glared mouthing 'me?'.

A nod from the elderly man was all the excuse he needed to squirm his way through the crowds and over to the quieter area. "What."

Whoever the guy was, he held a neutral face the entire time. "What are you doing in that line over there?"

Was this guy for real?

"What does it _look_ like I'm doing? I'm waiting for a damned concert, which I lost my ride home now thanks to _that_!" Kanda roughly gestured at the mob behind him with his thumb.

"Obviously..." That answer made Kanda's eye tick, but the Old Panda continued before he was cut off again. "I meant what are you doing waiting in that line when you have a VIP pass hanging from that lanyard around your neck? If your ride was wearing one too, you'll have an easier time finding him when you're in the area you _should_ be at, which is backstage."

Taking a deep breath- as he now held the fear that Alma was watching him from above- Kanda calmed himself before answering. "If there had been _signs_, it would have been easier for people to _know_ that." He awkwardly stepped over the rope and followed the old man.

"It's there," the shorter pointed," on the pass hanging from your lanyard." The old man spoke in a playful know-it-all tone that really started to piss the younger off.

Before Alma had died, Kanda probably would have felt bad about leaving Allen deep in the sea of the 'wrong line', but as of now- the white haired punk was old enough to find shit out on his own. They would meet up eventually, some way or another. The ponytailed male just really wanted to get this done with and get home.

Kanda and the Old Panda- as neither of them cared to exchange names- showed their passes and walked through a maze of hallways. It was annoying to be here doing this alone, but since it was something he _had_ the ability to do- and Alma did not- so he pushed himself to take advantage of this All Access pass. Because she would have loved this...

"Since you've missed the official Meet and Greet by just a few minutes, you can meet Lavi in his dressing room before he goes on stage." He noticed from over his shoulder that the young man looked confused. "He doesn't really do much before starting the show after he's done dressing. But please, do not take pictures or record video at the moment- it's his time for relaxing before he goes to work. As his manager, I expect you to follow these rules."

"Wasn't going to anyways." Kanda snorted, hardly interested. But something weird happened when they reached the star's door.

In all honesty, the only thing strange feeling the raven haired felt about this meeting was the fact that he'd not only introduced his departed fiance to Lavi's music, but long before they'd met their Sophomore year in high school- Kanda had held the biggest crush on the redhead. Nobody _ever_ knew about it, mind you, but _he _suddenly remembered his middle school and Freshman year all over again.

Lavi was about the same age as him and was secretly on the Japanese male's television late at night, had songs on his iPod, and even a few pictures of the redhead could have been found hidden under his mattress. Well, actually, those got thrown away after Alma had started visiting in his room and they'd make out on Kanda's mattress and, subsequently, on top of pictures of Kanda's boy-crush.

It was weird, this swirl of bittersweet memories with Alma and the confusing jitters he suddenly held about actually meeting his old crush. _Shit_- the door was actually opening. A boney old hand pushed Kanda into the room. The younger whipped around to face the Old Pand with wide eyes full of shock and irritation- he hadn't been fucking ready to step in yet!

"Remember, no video or pictures." The manager scolded, not even looking in the room to see how completely pissed the young man was.

"Hey-!"

A sudden muffled giggle and the wet sound of sloppy kisses from behind made Kanda's hair practically stand much like that of a pissed off- or possibly terrified- feline. If he'd been completely out of his element before, then he had no idea what to call _this_ new heep of shit.

Lavi was in his dressing room alright. Sitting there on a comfy-looking, leather sofa chair. But wait- there's _more_ to this living night from Hell! Perched on the singer's lap was a scantily clad female, who wore far too much makeup, that was busy liplocking with the redhead. Due to the celebrity's eyepatch he obviously didn't see the unexpected visitor standing still as a horrified statue. Poor Kanda- seeing as he was petrified all of the sudden- wasn't noticed until the woman moved from macking on Lavi's lips, down to his neck.

A warm and naughty chuckle left him. "Looks like I've got a visitor. Gotta go." Lavi winked, or... maybe he didn't? It was too hard to tell with the patch, but, either way, the singer stood and forced the groupie, or his girlfriend?, from his lap.

She pouted but didn't argue as she wiped her mouth briefly and fixed her hair. "Later, lover." Kanda was absolutely appalled that the star's girlfriend came and gave him an obvious once-over before winking and blowing him a kiss . . .boyfriend!

Compared to Alma, this woman was a sloppy, loose trainwreck that made his manhood shrink so far back he might as well have had a vagina. God, she was...- He shivered, feeling so uncomfortable that he couldn't look at either of them, even after she'd left the room.

"Sooo," Lavi approached him, a goofy smile on his face- the same he'd had in the picture under Kanda's mattress years ago- as the star noticed the VIP pass around his guest's neck. The singer had seen a lot of action, from both men and women alike, but he'd never seen a man that was so... _attractive_. This guy's face was angular, but held a certain beautiful- almost feminine- spice to it, and his hair looked soft as the silk of a prized black kimono.

He had the sudden urge to touch it.

"I'm guessin' you're not a stage manager with _that_ pass. What can I do for ya?"

Though he'd later come to regret not just _leaving_ this unbearable situation, Kanda finally met the green eyed male in a stare. Why the _fuck_ was the musician staring at him like he just did with that girl? Shit, he was moving in awfully close...

"The _fuck_ do you think you're doing?!" The Japanese male reflexively punched the other man in the chest. There wasn't much strength behind it, as it'd been more out of surprise than aggression, but it still caught his victim off guard.

Lavi had _never_ encountered a fan that hadn't fawned over him. Hell, most people would have leaped into his arms by now for a hug, autograph, kiss, or even _more_... But to _actually punch him_.

"Dude! Not cool!" He nursed his chest, but was hardly angry. No. The redhead was absolutely fascinated by this beautiful man... who had quickly backed himself into the far corner and was still breathing quite heavily. "What was _that_ for?!"

"You _freaking pervert!_ Your girlfriend leaves and-"

"Huh? Girlfriend?" Lavi cocked his head to the side before smiling. Shaking his head, the singer began to slowly walk towards the cornered hottie. "Nah, she's just someone who happened to sneak back here. Nothin' important." He shrugged.

The pervert's steps towards him didn't go unnoticed. Suddenly Kanda felt like he had the day he'd figured out as a boy that Santa wasn't real. Who the hell was this redhead in front of him?

He was nothing like the man Kanda would've thought could write and sing such emotional music.

"Stay... away... from me! You damned _rabbit_!" Kanda heaved, completely and utterly panicked to the point his brain was scrambled and made his mouth say stupid shit. But this guy certainly did seem to have the mating habits of a rabbit, apparently, so it _kind_ of made sense.

"Rabbit? Now _that's_ new." Lavi laughed. There was something about this refreshing sort of behavior in a fan that really interested him. No chance in stopping his steps now. "I see your name is... Kanda Yuu? Your first name is Yuu- really? Ya know, Yuu, I think we need to hang out after the show."

The- now former- fan's nose scrunched up as the star leaned in close to get a glimpse at his VIP pass, which- damn to hell- showed his _fucking name_. He felt he could _die_ when a gloved hand reached up to play with the red cord Kanda used as a hairtie.

"Like _hell_ I will!"

Another warm chuckle left the singer's lips and, though he hated himself for it in this confusing time, Kanda couldn't help but feel a bit star-struck. For years he had wondered what this man would be like, to hear him in person and hang out- and possibly do _more,_ once, in a boy's dream- but this...

This was like going to sell your treasured gold jewelry on a rainy-day, only to find those beacons of hope were knock-offs. It was _shit_. And though it felt disgusting to think like it, Kanda was glad Alma wasn't there to have her crushed by such uncurbed behavior from the singer.

Lavi could only assume this was some sort of a game. What sort of fan would splurge on a VIP pass to meet him if they were going to honestly be repulsed by him? With that gorgeous hair, handsome face, and lean, toned body- this new act was pretty hot.

The singer couldn't help but play along by suddenly slamming his hands on either side of his sexy visitor's head. There was no escape now, what with the counter of a makeup table to the right and Lavi being easily able to block any attempt for the door to the left.

"You're seriously somethin', ya know that?" His voice came out in a low, sensual whisper as he leaned in close enough to where Kanda could feel their breaths mingle. The Japanese male suddenly held his breath and tightly shut his eyes.

Not a chance in hell was he going to share oxygen with this asshole! He was going to _kill_ Allen for even bringing him-!

Soft, salty lips molded loosely against his own. Though their softness was certainly credited to some expensive facial care routine and lip moisturizer, there was no way that Kanda was thinking straight enough to remember that fact. The poor man had been locked in his home for two years where he'd only left to run kendo practices, get food, and emergencies. He'd been starved from kisses, from the soft, sweet lips of his deceased fiance- Kanda lost himself in the astounding sensation that felt and suddenly it felt as though he were kissing his precious blonde once more.

One couldn't blame him. If you want something badly enough and wished for two years that, in some way, it'd be true once more- you'd believe it in any way you could.

Completely lost in the delusion he that was really kissing Alma, Kanda furrowed his brows and slipped his tongue into the other's mouth. Slipping every ounce of passion and love into it that he could show 'Alma'. Gods, he'd missed her so... He was about to reach up and gently cup 'Alma's' face until she gave a rather... _masculine _groan?!

Onyx orbs popped open in the crashing fright of reality and he bit Lavi's lip. Hard.

"Ow! Ow!" The redhead pulled his head back and reached his right hand for his mouth- leaving Kanda still trapped. "I get bitin' and goin' rough, but _shit_! Geez," he whistled," you're a rockin' kisser though, Yuu."

Just as the 'kissee' was about to say something that would make any nun cringe, the stage manager popped his head in to inform Lavi that it was time for to head towards the stage, and then left the two alone again.

_Seriously?_ Fuck everything. The world was Hell and refused to give the shorter male a break. Kanda shook his head, ponytail waving behind him, and finally regained his senses, as well as his anger. Until a cold, hard item encased his wrist with a 'click!' and then another followed, but this time around the leg of the makeup table that was built into the wall.

"What the actual _fuck_ do you think you're doing?" Kanda defined the words 'raging demon' at this point. Glaring a death sentence, he watched as Lavi- who was _completely thrilled _by the way- moved to check himself in the mirror before headed to the door and looked back at his 'prisoner'.

It pissed him off to admit that the singer looked even sexier in person than on paper.

Sudden guilt hit Kanda for thinking that, and silenced him. This silence, naturally, Lavi took as another sign that it truly _was_ a game and that this fan was allowing the singer to speak.

"'Not gonna lie, I've never had a 'domination' relationship before- y'know, with pain an' all. But I'm all for playin' it if you're gonna be this into it." Lavi went to leave and stopped for a second time. "I get some people like it rough and all, but that bite kinda hurt! Take it easy on me next time, or I'll bite ya back." He smiled brightly, like a child knowing he'd be getting a present he'd wanted, before actually leaving.

Kanda heaved and started desperately trying to pull away from the table, but this only succeeding into the metal biting painfully into his wrist. It was a _dream._ It had to be a nasty, horrid dream...

"_Fuck!_" He wailed, slinking to the floor as his vision was becoming studded with 'stars'. With all the stressors, high emotion, and absolute chaos that he could barely keep up with, Kanda's body finally protested and shut down. The handcuffed male passed out on the floor...


	2. Chapter 2

Chatper 2  
Misfortune and Fascinated Pop Stars

* * *

_ Hairpins..._

_ Hairpins everywhere._

_ Kanda was thoroughly convinced, after just two weeks of living together, that this was how females marked their territory in a bathroom. He would've smiled at the realization that this was _their_ apartment- gifted to them by his father Froi-, _their_ bathroom_, _and that they were just a few months shy from getting married. But the blonde was being stubborn. There was no anger within him but an intense worry that weighed down his expression._

_ "Can you just let me drive you? I don't want you going alone if _they_ decide to start anything." He leaned his weight against the doorframe, watching as she pinned stray hairs into her ponytail. The count for how many times he'd prodded for her to bring him along had long since stopped- it'd been far too many times just today._

_ "Yuu, I told you I'll be _fine_." Alma threw a sympathetic smile his way, knowing that he was only looking after her. This protectiveness over her was appreciated, but she needed to do this for herself. It would finally be the day she proved she could stand on her own. Strong, fearless, and ready to move on. "They aren't the best family, I know, but they're not going to hurt me or anything troublesome."_

_ The flat facial expression given to her elicited a light chuckle. She went over and hugged his waist , planting a kiss at his collarbone before snuggling into his chest. Alma breathed in the scent of lotus blossoms and men's cologne that mixed between them. _

_ "I'm just packing the last few things I need from my room there and telling them that I'm not coming back. It's just a formality, really, it's not like I've spent a night there for almost two weeks now. I think they'll have seen this coming." Feeling his pectorals relax, thinking it was a good thing, the young woman stared up at him with a bright smile._

_ He _finally_ was understanding!_

_ ". . . I still could just sit in the car. . ." Her fiance still persisted._

_ "Yuu!" She whined in feigned exasperation, but kissed him once more, this time on the lips. Short, sweet- exactly like her. Kanda hadn't even had time to cup her face, let alone participate in it, before she rushed passed him for the door before the raven haired could protest any further._

_ That was their last kiss...  
He never saw her after..._

* * *

"Alma..." Her name a groan spilled from his lips.

Muscles ached from every movement, but, thankfully, Kanda was laying face-down on something soft... His couch? No, ...this didn't smell like his apartment. It smelled too clean, with a charming spice, to be his. Slowly, he opened one eye to investigate- the other was currently smushed against a cushion- but didn't recognize this apartment.

Everything looked far too _expensive_ for a place that could've belonged to someone he knew.

The room he was in alone was larger than his _entire_ apartment. Walls were painted slightly off-white with beautiful black and white photography- all from famous locations around the world- hung up in black frames, the furniture was all in black with white or red décor accents, and then there seemed to be a rather large television and surround system. So he was in a living room?

But who's...?

"Lavi!" The angry, aged voice of the old man from last night- Lavi's manager?- yelled in another room and Kanda's body froze up.

Memories of last night flew back in an overwhelming flood of panic. Allen, the concert crowds, Lavi, the _handcuffs_- the sudden rush made him feel light headed, same as before he'd passed out. Muffled voices, and attempts to steady his breathing, pulled Kanda from his musings and back into the moment. Not wanting to bring attention to himself, should someone walk by, he pretended to still be unconscious. He strained his ears to listen, desperate to find out the situation he'd woken up in.

"You _foolish_ boy, do you know how much this stunt of yours is going to cost us _this_ time?!"

_This_ time? God, how many times did these sick bastards do this to poor people?!

"Calm down, ya old panda! He and I were just playin' around and I thought he was _into _that kinda stuff, so I, y'know, handcuffed him there for... anticipation? -OW!" A harsh smack was heard. "What?! I didn't think he'd _pass _out!"

"Your reckless behavior with pranks and minor property damage were something we could handle discretely, but having someone pass out in your dressing room while handcuffed to a table is not the kind of press, or lawsuit, we need coming!" The old man stopped talking for a moment. "Having to end a show before you've even made it halfway through, especially when I could have taken care of that young man on my own, is going to be _costly_. Don't you understand that? The refunds, upset fans, the press we'll have to answer to-" 

There was a pause. A long one. Dammit! Kanda, unwilling to take part in the current conversation, didn't dare open his eyes but couldn't help how his brows scrunched his face. At least they weren't ax murderers or anything... Still, he needed to find a way to get back home. _Soon_. 

Footstep noises were getting louder- they were headed his way.

Crap-! Muscles tensed uncomfortably along with his hands going cold at the panicked idea that they would see through his 'sleeping' ruse. Okay, _play it cool_, Kanda tried to coach himself; however, he found himself holding his breath when they'd entered the room where he 'slept'. Lavi seemed to be seeing his manager out, at least that's what Kanda could figure from how their conversation seemed to be wrapping up. The old man told his client to contact him if there were any problems getting 'Yuu Kanda' home- _damn his pass for having his name on it...!_- and a few other verbal lashings before finally giving his 'goodbye'. Lavi seemed pretty intent on getting the old man out the door...

_Fucking fantastic_.

The- assumed- front door open and shut, giving Kanda hopes Lavi might have walked his manager out to the car or something, but he was never so lucky. Bare feet padded over to the couch, and then there was silence. Kanda's lungs ached, desperate for air- why the _hell_ had he thought not breathing was a good idea?!- and he could practically _feel_ the pervert's close proximity. _Shit... just hang on!_ Just a bit longer and the redhead would go to his room or something!

Hang... _on-!_

Ebony hues popped open as he gasped for air, startling Lavi- who _had _been watching his guest- which, in turn, made Kanda push into the couch with a jolt. The former fan sat up, palm to his forehead, and glowered in Lavi's direction. This was all _his_ fault, after all.

"_Geez_, Yuu! Ya scared me! I thought you were still out cold!" He chuckled trying to make light of the situation, but from the Japanese male's expression, the dumb-ass wasn't getting out of it. Oh-ho no, the singer was in _huge _trouble. 

"Don't _call _me that! What kind of sicko watches people sleep?!"

**HUGE**.

"I wasn't, I wasn't- I swear!" Lavi waved his hands in front of him, then seemed to have remembered something. "Hang on a sec, Gramps put your stuff over here."

"My stuff? Hey, get back here!" Eyes squinted in annoyance as Kanda checked his pockets, finding that his wallet, phone, and VIP passes were indeed gone. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! You just fucking handcuff people, take their things, and take them to your damned apartment against their will?!"

"Ya got it all wrong, Yuu." Lavi rounded a corner and placed all of Kanda's belongings on the black coffee table in front of the couch, but kept a water bottle in hand. "I handcuffed ya because I thought you were playin' a game with me or somethin', so I _played_ back with the handcuffs thinkin' that's what you were into... I started the concert and went back to change outfits between sets when Gramps tells me he found ya passed out in my room backstage. Man, he was pretty pissed you were back there and all. We found your cellphone on ya but it died, and we couldn't find a driver's license or anything-"

"That's because I don't _have _one!" Kanda spat. How had he admired- even _fantasized_- about this idiot in front of him, years ago?

"_Really_? You don't have your license? Why not?" He tilted his head, completely lacking any common sense a _normal_ person should have- at least in Kanda's opinion.

It pissed him off to no end.

"I'm leaving." Kanda tried to get up and leave this place, and the memories of the singer, far behind, but the lightheaded sensation when he stood was too much for him and he fell back onto the cough. God dammit. What had he done to deserve this?

His nerves could take this after being accustomed to the quiet that came with living alone.

"Woah! Hang on a second, Yuu!" The singer moved quickly to catch the other but his hands smacked away.

"I thought I told you not to call me that!" 

"Here," Lavi ignored the angry outbursts," I got ya a water from the kitchen. Maybe it'll help." He offered it to the other man, but when the gesture went ignored he awkwardly set it on the coffee table. With lips pursed, the famous young man sighed through his nose and plopped himself down on the couch.

Dark eyes watched the singer with complete distaste as the guy moved next to him- which Kanda scooted more space between them. It was maddening how chaotic things had become in such little time. _All _of it. His father urging him to go out using Alma as a vice, Allen being fucking stupid and losing him at the concert, Lavi for being an utter disappointment after all these years, and feeling like he'd let down Alma, in a sense, for finding out the true nature of this young man whose lyrics she'd loved so much...

_Shit!_ He felt like he betrayed her for allowing himself to be _kissed _by the man.

A small break in his thoughts made him realize that the singer was looking at him. Like _really_ looking at him- lips pursed and that stupid bottle green eye gleaming in deep thought. Lavi was judging him, trying to classify him in some way, he _had_ to be. And Kanda's anger flared to new heights.

"_What_." The long haired felt his eyebrow twitching as the eye-patched male looked _surprised_ he'd been caught. Fucking _idiot_ rabbit.

"N-nothin'..." Suddenly everything interesting in the world seemed to be in Lavi's lap, as that's where he looked- cheeks red- for a few seconds. Finally, the redhead leaned his head back on the couch, his posture giving off an attitude that said the man didn't care. "I just don't really get ya, is all."

"Che. Like I give a shit if you did, I just want to get home." He scoffed, looking at the water bottle. His throat ached for water, but his pride would not allow Kanda to accept it after taking into account who'd gifted it.

"It's just... Ya came to my show, right?" Lavi ventured.

Silence.

"VIP tickets are _way_ more expensive then even the best seats in the house, so- I dunno" Lavi shrugged, eyeing his guest for any body language that might give him answers as he continued on. "'Guess I just don't see why ya'd go if ya hated me _that much_. I mean, if this really isn't some game..."

_Damn that water bottle_, Kanda thought, not even listening to the idiot next to him- the redhead had long since been deemed unimportant. Just a small hiccup of annoyance in the long, tragic story that was his life. All his mind took in was the condensation building up on the outside of the plastic bottle... He licked his lips, gods his throat was dry...

This gesture that did not go unnoticed by the man sitting beside him. Lavi bit his lip, a hypnotized look on his face, as he leaned in close to those pale, soft looking lips... Last night they'd felt amazing... If he could just move in five more inches he could kiss-

A fist made hard contact on Lavi's cheek, knocking the man off the couch. Kanda's eyes filled with rage. "Are you fucking _stupid?!_"

While the Japanese male slammed him with curses and insults, Lavi stayed in his position on the floor holding his cheek in awed silence. Both of them thinking 'just who _is_ this guy?!' but in vastly different contexts.

"-and you're such an idiot, just _sitting _like a fucking surprised statue when you're the one harassing people!" Kanda growled, winded from yelling. It pissed him off, but he knew he'd need the water if he was ever going to stand and get out of this place. _Wherever_ he was. He'd never been obsessive enough of a fan of his former idol to find out where the redhead took up residence. Though it was not something he was happy to do, Kanda swiped the water off the coffee table in front of him, the violently opening it and drinking. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see if Lavi was smug or not.

. . .What the fuck was that noise?

It'd started out muffled at first, sounding more like the beginning of tears- an idea which brought warm, happy feelings to Kanda- but then it began to sound like... chuckling? Wild eyes looked at the singer who was almost doubling over in laughter, but he never stopped drinking. Kanda's grip on the bottle tightened, the plastic crinkling under his hand.

"You're somethin' else, Yuu!" Lavi wiped a tear from his eye as he started to calm down, but one look at the Japanese male, with that comically raging expression, and he was thrown into laughter once more.

"Fuck you. I'm going to the restroom and then I'm going home." Kanda stood sharply ignoring any protests from his body, and the fact he didn't even know _where_ the bathroom was. The only comfort was that he'd be able to find it _eventually_.

* * *

Disgust.  
… Possible repulsion.

Those mixed in with the raven haired male not throwing himself into his arms created a recipe that absolutely _fascinated_ Lavi. Nobody had ever resisted him before, sexually speaking or not, even Gramps couldn't stay mad at the super star for very long. But some how, in some mysterious way, this guy was having _no problem_ with it.

Lavi had never needed to hear that his physique and kisses were out of this world- he _knew_ they were and, boy, did he work them to his advantage. What he didn't know was how Kanda could have still not warmed up to him even _after_ not only seeing the singer, but experiencing a mind-blowing kiss as well. Shit- he knew he wasn't losing his touch, because he'd been making out with that girl just before, but then... what was it?

The enigma that surrounded this guy in the car with him held a certain allurement over Lavi. Something he'd _never_ experienced before because he'd never had to figure anyone out- they just came to him. Things just went his way.

So why wasn't it now?

What made this guy so pissed off? It was amusing as hell, but it still couldn't have come without cause. Why had he been at the show if the ponytailed guy really hated him? Their kiss could've been stopped- Kanda had made that obvious with his punch from earlier- but the man actually _participated _in it. Ugh. Why, why, _why?!_

Lavi refused to have these go unanswered. There was absolutely no way he'd let this go- nobody could resist him like _this_, he deluded himself. Yes, this still must be some weird game just to get the singer's attention, to 'stand out from the mass of fans'. Hell, if Kanda was really going to put _this_ much effort into it, then might as well see it through~!

It'd taken a long argument, full of threats and yelling, to persuade the fan into letting Lavi personally drive him home- even when it was in the singer's most _expensive_ car! But still, the grumpy man seemed unimpressed, causing a challenge to rise up within the redhead. He'd play this game, it wouldn't take long to get this guy to spill his guts, adore him- Yuu was no different from any other fan.

No, he was just better at _hiding_ it, was all.

"Well, we're here, Yuu~!" Lavi chirped, smiling until he saw how plain the apartment building Kanda lived in was. "Ya really live here?"

"Shut up." Kanda couldn't unbuckle himself fast enough and get out of the car. He'd even started walking away without another word, ignoring the sound the car's window rolling down.

"Oi! I'm thinkin' we should go on a proper date, Yuu! How I come get ya in the morning?" A knowing smile spread on Lavi's face when the darker haired turned back to him at the front door of the building. Aha! He finally won!

"Like _hell_!"

Then the door slammed and, with it, Lavi's face fell.

* * *

Kanda was surprised to see his father had spent the night and was sleeping on the couch. Shaking his head, glad just to be home, he covered Froi with a blanket before going to his room for sleep. All he needed to do now was just forget the past 24 hours ever happened...

* * *

_Ding-dong!_

An eyebrow twitched.

_Ding-dong!_

. . .

_Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!Ding-dong!_

"What the actual _fuck!_" Kanda's yelling and stomps as he went to the front door startled his father awake. He opened the door with a violent force. "I don't buy shit from people and I swear to God, if you're here to tell me about your religion-"

"Heya, Yuuuuuuuuuuuu~!"

Red hair... Eye patch... Face that made him want to punch a baby. If Kanda had still been half-asleep before, he was _certainly_ awake now. Here he was, looking forward to go back to a life of being alone again, but then this idiot showed up _ruining everything_

* * *

_{/||- _Yay! Here's chapter two. I'm starting to realize my writing has a rather slow pace- I'm unsure why I feel the need to put so much detail into certain things, but hopefully I can limit this for future chapters and progress things a bit faster. XP

Hope you enjoyed~!


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